Your Questions About For Those Tears I Died

March 31, 2013
By

Helen asks…

Can you relate to this poem..from the pit of my heart…?

Tears falling like rain
My sorrow is your sorrow
My pain is your pain
My heart is so hollow
Tears falling like rain
My voice is your voice
My soul is so mellow
Our choice is our choice
Tears falling like rain
Our spirits are dead
We do not love at all
Nobody ever said,
I will catch you
When you fall”
They say we are crazy
They say we are dumb
They say we are stupid
Our brains are so numb
They say we are mental
They say, “Suck it up
Wipe your eyes, stop crying”
They never care to see
That inside we are dying
Tears falling like rain
They say, “We are selfish
For committing suicide”
But they do not hear us
In who can we confide?
Nobody wants to listen
They watch every hour
As the passion of darkness
Our very souls’ devour
Tears falling like rain
Let the world think otherwise
Our tears shade the darkness
Within the solitude of our eyes
We need not say what we feel
This emotional attraction
To them, it does not appeal
They say we are helpless
They say we are unstable
They say we are insane
We are every negative label
Tears falling like rain.

Is there any way to escape the pain?

Dedicated to all of those who suffer from depression or any other mental disorder. I suffer from major depressive disorder and decided to write this poem as a way of releasing my pent up feelings. I hope you guys can relate and enjoy this read. Thanks!

18 years old and still looking forward never back.

admin answers:

Thanks for that. I can relate really deeply. Keep on looking forward, there’s nothing in the past worth looking back for.

Carol asks…

Can anyone please correct my story and make it sound better?

I was wondering if you could correct any spelling/grammar errors that you may see and if you have enough time, can you make the story sound more emotional? Because I want it to be as emotional as possible, and it would also be great if you could finish up the story a bit too. Please and thanks. Yes, I know my writing isn’t as good, so that is why I want you to make it sound better. Okay here’s the story:

We were like brothers who always looked out for one another, he had my back and I had his back. Whenever I needed his help he was always there for me, even at times of sorrow and despair, he was always there to comfort me and love me and letting me know that he’ll always be there for me no matter what. We’re really close to each other, I‘ll tell him everything about myself such as all my secrets, how my day went, to things about my personal life, etc pretty much all those everyday stuff that friends tend to talk about.

Sometimes on a regular afternoon, we’ll head over to the mountains to go watch the sunset together when we’re not on duty, and we’ll be watching while I‘ll lye my head against his shoulder and with him wrapping his arms around me. Our male bonding had grew stronger and stronger ever since. When we shower together, he always jokes around with me and peeks up on me while I‘m changing. He said that he’ll show me his penis if I showed him mine, so I did and we compared sizes with each other. It was a very great experience, something I‘ve never had in my whole life.

One time an Iraq soldier shot me in the stomach and I was bleeding constantly and eventually was gonna die. I was lying on the ground groaning in pain, he ran up to me and did everything he could just to keep me alive. When I was about to die, he fiddled on my hair and came close to my face and told me not to die, tears were dripping down his cheeks and he said he was always gonna be here for me, please don’t die. I touched his face and said don’t worry bro I know you love me a lot, I may not physically be here but you’re always gonna be in my heart. I‘ll be watching over you always.
Well it’s about two buddies who fought together during the war and stuff like that. Sorry if it was a bit confusing.
Actually it’s not really a story, but I am writing to a friend just to make him tear up. So please, if you can make it sound more emotional I would really appreciate it.

admin answers:

I haven’t made many changes as this is already good, i hope you like the changes i have made though.

We were like brothers who always looked out for one another; he had my back and I had his. Whenever I needed his help he was always there for me, even at times of sorrow and despair. He was always there to comfort me, love me, letting me know that he’ll always be there for me no matter what. I’ve never felt so close to a person, I tell him everything about myself – the big things like all my secrets, to the smaller things like how my day went. He’s always there to listen, no matter what.

Sometimes on a regular afternoon, we head over to the mountains and watch the sunset together. I watch the golden sun descend with his arm around me and my head on his shoulder. Our male bonding has grown stronger and stronger ever since and continues to grow with each day. When we shower together, he always jokes around with me and peeks up on me while I’m changing. He said that he’ll show me his penis if I showed him mine, so I did and we compared sizes with each other. It was a very great experience, something I’ve never had in my whole life.

One time an Iraq soldier shot me in the stomach and I was bleeding constantly and death seemed inevitable. I was lying on the ground groaning in pain, he ran up to me and did everything he could just to keep me alive. I could feel death approaching, his hand ran through my hair and his voice instructed me not to die. Tears soaked his cheeks and he promised he would always be there for me, just don’t die.. I touched his face and said don’t worry bro I know you love me a lot, I may not physically be here but you’re always gonna be in my heart. I’ll be watching over you always.

Ken asks…

How would you rate the first chapter?

so I‘m writing a novel, I finished the first chapter, this is it:
Ian woke up at the sound of his phone ringing at 2:30 AM, grumbling, he checked the called ID to find Helen calling him, what now? He thought.
“Hello” he said with a sleepy voice.
“Ian! Ian thank god you answered me!” Helen wept into the phone.
She’s crying! But why is the question… He thought, but when Ian heard her crying he was immediately startled and suddenly very alert and awake.
“Helen? Helen what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Ian asked anxiously.
“Your dad Ian, it’s your dad, he’s…” she broke off crying and sobbing again.
“What’s the matter? What happened to him, Helen?”
She took a deep breath and sniffled, “You know what… Can you drop by my house?”
“Urn….. Yeah sure, I’ll be by your side in ten minutes.”

Before Ian even knocked, Helen opened the door and hauled him into a hug, Ian awkwardly hugged her back.
When she pulled away her eyes were red and full of tears. “What’s wrong, Helen?” Ian asked.
She took a deep breath,” Ian, I’m going to come clear, without any introductions,” Sniffle. “Your father died last night in a car accident, I’m very, very sorry Ian…”
Ian was shocked. Feelings he never felt since his grandma died tore at his heart that he had to clutch his chest with his hands.
“Oh Ian,” Helen started crying again. His head spun round and round, he felt as if his thoughts had been crushed into a pile of smoke, and the only thing he thought of was: would I survive living is this old house alone?.
I‘m not asking for describing characters, I want to know if I should keep up this way writing… so what do you think? should I change something?
sorry, instead writing caller ID I wrote called ID, that was a mistake :-/

admin answers:

I think that your story is good, but you need to check your grammer. Shouldn’t it be ‘Ian woke up to the sound’ not at the sound and also it should be caller ID not called ID. This is just an advice but other than that really good. I liked it, you included descriptive words and metaphors. Hope I helped

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