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What do you think of my short story where should I go with it? I’m kinda stuck and only half way through :S
Please take the time o read this PLEASE!!
Rate out of 10. Oh and enjoy
The Wilted Rose
“You fat pig, you better not disappoint me today!” Feeling dizzy and lightheaded Emily-rose reluctantly made her way to the bathroom. Pale boney fingers struggled to turn the doorknob, the old wooden door creaked open to a large mirror revealing a monster; Skeletal like features, sunken cheekbones which lost their colour many years ago, her hair hung limp and dry like a stack of hay, her lips chapped beyond repair and circles so dark around her eyes you would think she never went to sleep. Hardly recognizing her reflection she looked down and stood there one on one facing her greatest fear, the enemy, wondering what her fate will be today.
“Come on, what are you waiting for, huh? Get your huge ass of yours on that scale” With much effort she moved her brittle legs and stepped onto the scale, terror pulsed through her body, not wanting to face the evil numbers that will haunt her. “Uh, no it cannot be…” Emily-rose had hardly the energy to speak just above a whisper.
“I knew it! I knew you would fail me! Nothing but a failure you are… and will ever be.” The number 41.3 stared at her flashing in red. She felt like she was going to be sick. The disappointment overwhelmed Emily. She had to hold onto the towel rack keep her balance. “What am I to do now?” She was too hungry to fast, too fat to eat and too exhausted to exercise. “I knew this would happen, now you come crying back to me? I told you that water cracker would be a mistake.” One point three. One point three. Emily could not help but replay those numbers over and over again in her head. She had put on weight.
Hands trembling violently as she attempted to tie the shoelaces of her joggers, the vertigo making it a struggle. “A two hour run should teach you!” Emily felt weak and nauseous but she did not have a choice in this.
Jogging feeling very dazed she realized that she was sweating unnecessary since it was only 16 degrease outside and her heart pounding a mile a minute. Out of breath and feeling very faint her world turned upside down. Her vision gave way, something was very wrong. She tried to blink. Emily’s site giving her the illusion that she was looking through a tunnel. Wonder what will be waiting at the other end? No. This can’t be happening.
“I told you this would happen didn’t I? You didn’t listen to me. You never listen to me you selfish cow. And now you will pay!”
She could not stand it anymore and will not stand it anymore. “Shut up!” Emily cried. “Shut the fricki’n hell up, just go away! Leave m the hell lone” Slowly she opened her eyes, everything a blur. She was not familiar with her surroundings. Where am I? She can just make out familiar two faces. Her mum and sister. They live on the other side of the country. What are they doing here? Finally Emily realizes that she is in a hospital bed. The strong smell of antiseptic stung her nostrils and the feel of her rough nightgown against her bones sent a tingling sensation down her spine for some odd reason. The thin bed spread hardly enough to keep her insulated, she started to shiver.
I don’t like it. Then again I am very hard to please.
Demophobia can someone help ?
I’m sick and tired of this, it’s the first week of school and I feel like I want to cry already. Every time I walk pass a long hall way, I always have to walk pass A lot of people, I’m embarrassed that I can’t even look at people’s face normally. It gets worst at lunch, everyday, the cafeteria is behind the lunch sala and the lunch sala has TONS of people. Mind you, some days I just rather starve a bit instead of walking pass the lunch sala. Even if I get to the cafeteria, I have no one to sit with end up sitting by myself, it feels hurt and scared. Everything becomes blurry and I become very clumsy, I eat very fast so that I can move away without people recognizing me. It’s terrible. And note that I’m 185 tall so hiding is very very very hard. It makes me feel sad that I can’t play basket ball because I’m scared of people who look at me. I feel so pathetic, the only sport I play now is fencing because there’s very little people and I feel that at least I can have fun there.
Anyways, since I’m in Asia, therapy is not so popular and people view you as insane if you consult doctors about it. Oh no, don’t even mention about medicines, I also have a fear of swallowing medicine (mind you I love getting injections) I rather eat crushed aspirin rather then swallowing that huge ass medicine. Like I said earlier, I get panic attacks every time I get into a place with alot of people, I mean I don’t understand, I have been at school for more then 5 years (I’m in 11 grade), but why does everyone still looks like a stranger to me ? I hate hate this very much.
I tried to breath but somehow I really can’t because it would me me breath hard, and it would look ark ward as heck if I breath like that in public, I can’t really control my panic attacks, of course, I exercises and I’m actually very healthy and I always get enough sleeps but it doesn’t help. It’s making me crazy, the picture of me going to a night club is like me sitting in hell. Damn it, if it’s this painful I start to believe that hell doesn’t even exist, since in already living in hell. The only place I can be comfortable is my home, the library (but it’s not a library anymore since alot of people go there and it’s super crowded and noisy) basically, there is no where in school where I can feel comfortable except the nurse office but I can’t go there everyday because it would cause suspicion.
The moment I come home, I feel like crying from happiness. I have a very good friend that when I’m with her (people usually misunderstand that I’m her girlfriend but I don’t see her as my girlfriend though, and I’m sure she doesn’t either) I always have fun and feel comfortable. Unfortunately, she’s not in every class I have and in another classes, the tension of TEACHERS SAYING “OK CLASS, FIND A PARTNER” oh my Goddard I hate teachers who do that so much. If I don’t have her then who am I suppose group with ? Then there’s the panic attacks, everything gets blurry and I can’t concentrate on learning. I rub my eyes alot to the point where some people ask me why am I crying (I’m not crying) I’m 100 percent sure that this is not vision problems. It only happens when this phobia is activated. I really think this is serious, it has been happening since I moved into 8 grade.
Oddly enough, the phobia doesn’t activate when I’m not at school. I’m perfectly fine when I’m a the food center at the mall. I don’t understand this. Some places makes me scared, some places don’t. I really don’t understand how this phobia thing work but it’s annoying as heck.
Thank you for listening (or reading) please help me though, ex cerise doesn’t help, I don’t have time for yoga and I’m a guy. I can’t talk to my parents or trusted people because I will make them worry, I tried once but they just give me a crappy answer that doesn’t help anything. This goes the same for my school’s student consular , they all give me the same answer which is to make friends and go out of your house more often. YOU MEAN WASTE MY MONEY ON BEER AND DRINK AT THE MALL, WATCH MOVIES and DO STUff WITH FRIENDS, FLIRT WITH GIRLS AND PLAY SPORTS, don’t make me cry. seriously. what are they thinking. That is the most re tarted non-helping thing ever.
So, you’re willing to admit to a problem but it sounds like you’re afraid to do anything bout it. You can’t go to a therapist because your culture looks down on it. You can’t get meds because your culture doesn’t look down on it. You can’t sit in the nurse’s office because it will cause suspicion. You don’t have time for yoga. You can’t do breathing because you think people are looking at you. It sounds to me like you’re self-conscious about your height and that you were probably bullied in the past, and your young brain dealt with it by avoiding others.
So, while I really think you should go to a therapist, and not give a damn about the ignorant people around you who believe therapy is bad, I’ll give you a few simple suggestions:
- Mindfulness breathing and diaphragmatic breathing can both be done with your eyes open. The latter is especially useful in panic attacks since it delivers more oxygen to the brain.
- Positive self talk can be done in public as well. Simply reminding yourself that, “I know I’m in a safe place. I’ve been here before. Nothing bad will happen” etc. Can also be helpful.
- When you are in crowds, choose a place to sit where you have an escape route, where there are teachers or others who will protect you, and so on. Think strategically about how you will keep yourself safe. That might lower the stress.
- Consider drinking herbal teas, which many people find relaxing.
- Try to introduce yourself gradually into places where you feel uncomfortable. For instance, if you can find ways to mingle with 1 person, then 2 people, then 3 and so on, you will become more used to it over time. (That’s called behavioral activation.)
You should try to deal with this now, because it sounds like you’re at an age where your brain and behaviors are still developing, so you have a chance to shape them. If you don’t deal with it now, it won’t be any easier to deal with as you get older. But, it’s worth keeping in mind that if you were bullied, then school might be retraumatizing, so once you’re out of school things might start to go better for you.
Sharp pain in right side of head?
Back in the beginning of December I suddenly had a horrible headache that lasted an hour or 2. This was by far the worse pain I have ever felt in my life. I felt like my brain was going to explode and called my husband home from work. I did not tell him exactly how bad it was because the pain was bad enough I could not bear the thought of actually getting to the doctors or the hospital. Crazy and stupid, I know. I am 34 years old. Good health. Eat healthy and exercise about 5 days a week. Mother of 3. Since then I have had more frequent headaches in different locations i.e. behind the eyes, lower back of head, temples, and just all over. Headaches come on very suddenly without warnings. About 2 weeks ago I went from fine to I turned my eyes and became so dizzy I could not stand. This lasted a few hours and I had to go to bed with eyes closed because things would not quit spinning.
I do have upper wisdom teeth that will be coming out soon and I also have TMJ.
I have been having more problems lately that I have attributed to my TMJ. Pressure in the right ear, sore jaw, pressure headaches behind eyes. Last night laying down with my husband I started to get a sharp piercing pain that would hit so quick it would make me jump and it would only last for a second with a pressure that would linger after wards. These pains were anywhere from every minute to spaced out with a 5 minute gap. The sharp pains continued this morning with blurred vision, tiredness, and a pressure like headache. My parents are urging me to go to the hospital but can’t help but feel that would be pointless. Has anyone had problems like this that they can help me to possibly understand what might be going on? Thank you.
I should also ad that my most recent dentist visit was last week. I do 6 month check ups and have never had a cavity or a bad tooth that has needed a filling, root canal, or anything like that. My wisdom teeth are due to come out but my dentist said it was no hurry. I do have TMJ and that is it.
Hello there! I am sorry, but I completely agree with CJ. These are serious symptoms that could potentially have a disastrous outcome. You need the ER. Forget about the doctors. The ER is better equipped to diagnose you quickly. This is not to alarm you. It is to tell you how serious this could possibly be. You are not too young to have a blood vessel in your brain that has a weakness in it’s wall. It is called an Aneurysm. The symptoms are most of what you explained. I hope that you walk out of that ER with a diagnosis of cluster headaches as one poster replied and call me a quack. Nothing would make me happier! Please do not take the risk. This is nothing to play around with. Also, time is of the essence, even though it has been since December. Please, do not ignore this and wait for it “to go away”. I have seen too many young lives lost due to conditions that could have been treated if they had only listened to their bodies. I am quite literally begging you to go. Again…This is not to scare you. It is only trying to be sure that you do not become a statistic. You are most likely fine, why risk it though? If I have offended you, I apologize tremendously. I am just being honest. I wish you all of the best and a long happy life. Good luck to you!
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