Lost all Motivation in Life, in Fun, in Health.?
I guess this has been going on for a long time now, I just haven’t dealt with it because I have been self medicating in Alcohol for years.
I’m 24 years old.
I’ve went from a 5 year emotionally abusive relationship full of lies and unfaithfulness to a 2 year physically abusive open relationship to now where I am completely unhappy in my relationship of 1 year.
I have recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality, but I do not take medication, I feel it dulls me, where I cannot think…which sometimes is nice, but that fog that clouds your mind on a daily basis is not the way I want to live my life.
I have no motivation for life, no motivation to be awake, to go to sleep, to stand up, to go to work, no motivation to eat healthy, to exercises, to go to work, to go shopping. Everything I seem to pretend to find joy in just to get by. Even when I am around people I feel alone, so alone, I feel there is no one to call no one to text, no one to tell how I feel without feeling as if I am constantly complaining, I am turning into that person who is always angry, always negative, that’s never how I used to be.
I was always the happy social person all throughout my life, I do not understand where this came from, I’ve formed such an attachment to my current boyfriend that everything he does disappoints me, he can never do anything right in my eyes, I’m always upset with him even when I shouldn’t be. I feel as if he is lazy, worthless, I feel less this his ex (his babies mom) I feel as if he’ll never love me how he loved her, even though he reassures me daily that he loves me more then he ever cared for her.
I want a family, I want to be married. Why did he want that with her, why not with me ?
I do not understand, I feel so unwanted – unloved.
I work over nights, all alone. Not one worker with me from 7pm to 6am, four nights a week.
My boyfriend is always asleep, he won’t talk to me, he is so sick of my complaining, how could I blame him. I’m sure he secretly hates me for how I treat him, he sleeps just to get away from me.
I have no sense of right or wrong, I feel I am above everyone. No one can measure up to my standards.
I say such hurtful things to the person I love, and I can’t stop. I can’t stop comparing myself to his ex, thinking he wants her.
I make up scenarios in my mind on how I think things are happening, when they are not and I get upset over them, and freak out for hours.
Always angry, always upset, always negative, always worrying.
Is he going to hurt me, is he going to leave me? Should I leave him, I’m unhappy HE’S THE REASON. The man, the evil man. He’s getting the brunt of all my ex’s damage. It’s not fair, but I can’t stop. Can’t stop my pain causing him pain. I am so sorry but I can’t convey an appropriate apology.
I am writing this and still can’t stop thinking about all the negatives about him, but I love him so much and won’t leave him. I don’t have one friend. NOT ONE. I have no one. Just him, just my parents. That’s it. I isolated myself, I ruined every friendship with my negative opinions on how they live there life, because again I felt as if they did not measure up to me. That they were losers, that they were nothing and I didn’t need them. Now I’m all alone.. so alone.
I just want to be happy.
What can I do to be happy? What can I do to motivate me to want to have a good life, to want to have fun, to want to be positive? To not hurt the person I love, to accept everything in life good or bad. TO BE HAPPY.
You’ve taken the first, maybe biggest and most important step: You’ve recognized you have a problem and you are doing something about it. That’s extremely commendable. No one will ever understand how hard it is just to do that, so congratulate yourself.
Your life is not over yet, which means there is time to find a way to deal with your problem. It means you still desire happiness, which is a good thing.
Everyone has their own challenges to overcome; this is yours. One of the best things you can do is find professionals who can help you. There is a type of therapy called Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which is specifically for people with borderline. Also, there are a ton of communities out there, both online and in the real world, with people who have borderline who can relate to your problem and help you with a lot of your questions. Also, just simply being open with people around you about your problem can be a huge relief to you and those around you; just understanding what is going on with you can be a big help to your family and/or boyfriend, or any friends you might make from here on out.
Also, if you have any specific questions for me, feel free to contact me about them. I’m not a professional, but I’ve had some experience dealing with borderline, so if nothing else, I hope I can help.
I keep feeling like i may faint!! please help….?
Thursday i had to leave work an hour early because i felt really really faint
(i work on the checkout in a big store)
i almost keeled over as i was serving a customer and she said “do u want me to tell someone for you?”
My eyes just filled up with water and i nodded. ( i couldnt speak as i was so embarrassed )
Another colleague came to take over…
Cut a story short – i went to my locker and had some water to drink + then attempted to get back to work but i just felt the same so they allowed me 2 go home.
The journey home was awful, i felt so dizzy.
I was the same on friday but i still went to work coz it was only a 3 hour shift.
Today i had my 1st day off in 10 days and ive been okay, until about 2:30 now i feel the faintness again.
Ive been like this for at least for at least a week and a half.
I think im just exhausted, i haddent had a day off in 10 days and cashier work is a LOT more stressful + tiring than people might think. Doing the same stuff repeatedly again and again and again!
Its enough to drive you insane!
i will admit im not at all happy in my job – in fact i hate it.
on top of that theres the house work to do and i am a total gym-aholic.
I go there 4 nights a week even when i dont want to (its kind of an obsession)
I tell my self im being too hard on myself but i feel guilty and lazy if i dont go.
Im trying 2 take it easy, but im back at work tomorrow (my next day off is tuesday)
I know its purely up to me to get myself feeling better again and im seriousley going to try but in the mean time im so scared i might acutally faint.
Apart from the sleeping, Are there any foods or vitamins or even some sort of breathing exercises that will revive my body and mind and make me feel alive again?
So sorry to go on and on btw!!!
Many factors can cause or contribute to faint or near-faint feelings.
Maybe your blood pressure is low(especially when you stand for a while),or maybe you don’t eat right or on time.
Emotional factors also should be considered: stress,depression
In my idea, your blood pressure and your heart should be clinically checked up.
You may email me.
Need help with changing eating, sleeping and studying habits for life?
Okay, so I’m nearly 16 now and I want to change my lifestyle habits.. quite a lot. My current habits include:
- Bedtime around 11-12 at night, wake up at 7am in morning for school. On weekends, bedtime is 1-2am or later, and I attempt to sleep in. I’ve been like this for over two years, I’m a “night owl” you could say.
- I’ve been trying to get more sleep and and become a morning person for ages. Even if I go to bed at 9:30, I’ll still just lie awake until 11-12 before I fall asleep. When I wake up in the morning, it takes me over 40 minutes to get out of bed. I’m always yawning, and I’m always tired.
- The only healthy meal I ever eat is dinner, because my parents cook that for me. Every other meal is unhealthy. On school days I never have time for breakfast – I haven’t had a proper breakfast in two years, I always skip it. At school I just eat complete junk food (chips, lollies, cake, chicken, chocolate milk – EVERY single day), and at home I completely ignore fruit and only eat what I want.
- I don’t play sports and never do exercise. I look healthy because I’ve got a high metabolism, and I can’t gain weight – I’m always perfectly thin. But when it comes to exercise and food, I’m about as unhealthy as you can get.. even though it isn’t affecting me in appearance, I’m always lacking energy and sometimes feel lethargic.
Due to all of this, I’ve got black rings under my eyes, I’m always yawning, I’m extremely tired and fatigued, I can’t concentrate on anything. The main problem is my study – I can’t concentrate on any of it, and I’m so tired that I just couldn’t be bothered studying. When I don’t understand something (specifically math topics), I just get frustrated and angry with myself, lose concentration and feel like giving up. But I’ve got major exams coming up, and so I’m forcing myself to do more hours of useless study and less sleep to make up for it. All of this is just getting worse.
I don’t want to eat healthy food, but I know I have to. I don’t want to exercise because I’m lazy, but I know I have to. I want to be able to wake up at 6am and be out of bed for the entire morning. I want to have plenty of sleep, and not be so tired. I want to study effectively and get good marks.
Can anyone give detailed advice on how to change? How can I suddenly begin waking up at 6 in the morning and not be tired? What should I be eating for breakfast and lunch every day? How can I improve my studying and prepare for exams effectively?
Most importantly, how can I keep these good habits for life? I’m not a routine person – I hate routine. I’ve tried in the past to discipline myself and eat healthy, exercise, go to bed earlier.. but it never works. I feel like I don’t have the commitment. If you can answer all my questions and give detailed advice, it would really mean a lot! Thanks!
First thing I would try to change would be your eating habits. Before trying to change what you eat, change when you eat. Do not skip breakfast, get yourself into the habit of eating a little something after waking up. A bowl of cereal will suffice. Even junk food is better than nothing.
Ideally you want to eat 4 or 5 smaller meals a day, rather than 2 big ones. Note that when I say “meal” it doesn’t have to be anything huge. An apple and some chips (weaning yourself off of junk food comes later) or a sandwich would constitute a meal. What this does is boost your metabolism throughout the day. Don’t eat until you’re stuffed, eat until you’re no longer hungry.
After getting into this habit (even if you think you aren’t a routine person your body will disagree), then start to focus on changing what you eat. This will be difficult. You can either go cold turkey and totally cut out junk food, or slowly wean yourself off of it. In this case I would recommend the former, because if you can successfully stay away from junk food for about a month your tastes will change and you won’t have the cravings you do now. To do this, try to limit your access to junk food. Your parents can greatly help in this regard. Also do simple things like not keeping snacks next to your computer. It seems obvious but is worth pointing out.
One final piece of advice concerning diet change is hydration. Drink plenty of water. You’ll also notice that you’ll have more energy because you’ll have to keep on getting up and going to the bathroom. Sounds silly but it’s true.
The other factors (exercise, sleep, and studying) come afterwards. Changing your diet will make working on the other three areas much easier.
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