Posts Tagged ‘ Asperger's Syndrome ’

Your Questions About An Impaired Use Of Language

January 5, 2013
By

Mary asks…

Is it a good idea for a socially impaired kid with Autism, to attempt public socialization?

I am Autistic, I have Aspergers Syndrome, and I am not a typical person. I have some social upps and downs, but I will focus on the downs.

I have trouble reading body language. I am easily distracted. I have trouble with the right words to use in public to start conversations. I have trouble feeling like I should reply to a miscellaneous comment to start a conversation. (Ex: A girl walks out of a jewelry store alone, and murmors “That guy at the counter was really rude…”) I have trouble passing messages to people through my own body language. I take a lot of things litterally, and have poor judgement on sarcastic remarks. I tend to not stick to a style, or sense of visual appeal. I have problems looking people in the eyes, or towards their bodies or faces (Especially with girls) with girls, I tend to look at their shoes, or a distant object- due to respect beliefs. I tell the truth alot sometimes, and do not respond well to questions like “Do I look fat” or “Do these clothes look good”, I can’t sugar coat things well, or pick up on a stylish garment.

I am trying to see if I can go for a walk around my hometown, and be able to talk to random people. And I also plan to be able to talk with kids, and adults alike at the upcoming coast guard festival- without seeming wierd, or out of the ordinary.

Does anybody have any guidelines, or perhaps some unwritten rules that can be written, to assist me with this?

admin answers:

Take it slow and ease into it-start by maybe finding an Aspergers group and try doing socialization practice with other aspies-may make you feel a little more comfortable and no one will judge you if you do something wrong or make a mistake-which will likely happen until you get more comfortable with socializing.

Charles asks…

Does the DWP use incompetence?

as a criteria for recruiting it’s staff.

I was trying to help a mentally impaired and physically disabled client the other day and it took me two and a half hours on the phone to get to the right department- that I found had then shut a minute before I managed to ring them.

That included: 2hrs and 15 minutes ringing completely incorrect numbers that had been provided by their staff, some of whom had a problematic grasp of the English language.
Lestat: could have done but then I would have left an extremely vulnerable individual without any source of income.
Lestat: I am ‘welfare rights’ and the CAB can take up to three weeks to see someone and then have to use a phone as opposed to telepathy or a Ouija board.

Not everyone has access to the same vampiric powers as you do- thanks for the advice though.

Rich B .Pay in Mcdonalds is not more than the Civil Service nor does McMucks offer a final salary secured pension.

admin answers:

Poor staffing of important jobs will cause failure. Why would anyone hire someone that can’t do the job?

Lisa asks…

am really sick and tired of all the foreign email I’m getting! help stop it?

I do not speak Spanish because I’m hearing impaired and never could learn it. It’s clogging up my spam email and I’m sick of it. Can you make an option available to block all foreign languages from entering our emails. I use spam guard, but still…ughhhhhhhhhhhhh this is America and I’m English, so please tell me how to stop that stuff!!!!

admin answers:

It is difficult to stop them at this stage because your e-mail id has been sold to spammers. At the most, you can do the following:
1. Set “words” in spam filter option, so that the mails containing those words are sent in the Spam filter.
2. If there are options in these unsolicited mails to “unsubscribe” , then go for them.(This, sometimes is however, dangerous because the spammers come to know that the e-mail ID is still live) .
3. Forget about this id and create a new id. Do not ever subscribe to a suspicious looking site with this id.

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Your Questions About Eye Exercises For Lazy Eye

June 18, 2012
By

David asks…

Why won’t she give any effort to help me?

My fiancée just won’t care about any of my problems! I’m not okay, as far as happy or healthy goes. I have severe depression, Arrhenphobia, Anthropophobia, Agoraphobia, I’m technically anorexic (500cal or less a day) but still fat(220lbs), plus the binging every few days which makes me really sick, a ‘mild’ case of Asperger’s Syndrome, gender-confusion, self-mutilation issues, self-hatred, self-obsession, suicidal thoughts, dealing with PTSD from a real shitty childhood, I was raped by my only friend a few months ago and he won’t leave me alone, pet obsession, religious backlash, severe separation anxiety, I hate where I live, I hate my apartment, I hate my father and step-family (although I know they mean well, I think), and I’m being pushed into a career that terrifies me.

BUT! I’m not stupid. I know what I need to make me happy and it’s surprisingly simple: I need to become comfortable in my body, that way I won’t have as much of a problem dealing with people. I need to get on medication for my depression, which I inherited from my mother(thanks a lot…). And I need to get a stable, profitable career so that I can have enough money to live comfortably.

On that: Becoming happy with myself is all about health. If you’re healthy, you’re beautiful automatically. I’m not looking for perfection. For right now I just want to be able to feel comfortable with clothing. It will take a bit of surgery and therapy in order for me to be okay with myself nude. That means a healthy diet and moderate exercise, obviously. But that’s hard. I didn’t grow up with anyone to discipline me. I was a poor child, but I got what I wanted most of the time, and what I wanted was to not do chores, not bathe, eat waaaaay too much, and be lazy. And I got all that in abundance.

Getting off track here: SO! Basically, I have all this shit going on. What’s keeping me from just killing myself already? My fiancée. I don’t know what I’d do without her. We met 4 years ago, at the peak of both our problems. She had family issues (a manipulative mother and a shitty living environment), and she was also a total idiot. That may seem mean, but it was her way of dealing with life. Ignorance is bliss, after all. We were good friends for about half a year, then we fell in love. We both gave up everything to be together, overcoming extreme living conditions, horrible stress, and a loss of loved ones. I’ve dedicated my life to her happiness. I’ve helped her mature and learn to think for herself, to be healthy and intelligent and to love herself for who she is. And it’s been a fight. She’s a real brat when it comes to doing anything besides what she wants. I’ve had to deal with tantrums and guilt trips and all that wonderful bullshit. We’ve talked about it, she knows she does it. She just can’t help it when it’s happening and I understand. I have the same problem. BUT, I stood strong and still made her do the things she needed to do, and she’s better because of it.

That’s what I need, and she knows it. I’ve told her on many occasions. I need someone who cares enough to discipline me when I need it. She just doesn’t seem to care though. She gets all teary eyed and determined when I have a breakdown, but the very next day she’s back to being selfish and ignorant of my problems.

She says she understands and that she cares. I don’t know how to be more clear on what I need. I’ve had this same conversation with her so many times, but the next day she seems to forget all about it and goes back to only caring about herself and being lazy. This has been going on for months! You’d think that if she really cared, she’d put aside her own lazy, selfish behavior to help me. I even offered to take care of ALL the household responsibilities so she would only have to make sure I did them. I told her that she didn’t have to bathe as long as she made sure I did. I don’t know how much easier I can make this! Why is it so hard for her to just tell me to do something?! It’s not like I’m hard to control! I’m an obedient person by nature. Hell, the “I’m gonna count to 3″ thing works wonderfully! All I’m asking is for her to basically boss me around! How fucking hard is that?! I’m allowing her to fuck around on the computer, eat pizza in bed and have no responsibilities in return for a firm “Go do what you need to do!” That’s all I need!

I love her with all my heart, but WHY WON’T SHE JUST CARE???!!!
Hey m,
I just want to clarify that the only reason I bother to live anymore is because I don’t want to hurt her by killing myself. I don’t care about myself at all, if fact I don’t even believe that people who are as messed up as me belong in society. I live for her, and I suffer for her. If she expects me to continue living just for her own happiness, then I believe that I deserve a little help to be happy as well. Do I not deserve to be happy? Is it right that I continue suffering just so that she doesn’t have to deal with my problems?

Also, to everyone who will recommend a therapist: I know I need one desperately, but my father controls the finances around here and until I can make enough money to be self sufficient I’ll have to deal without one any way I can. I’ve tried and tried to make him understand, but he refuses to believe anything is wrong with me.

admin answers:

This isn’t about her…this is about you. If you don’t care enough to change your life no one else “caring” is going to make a difference.

Look…you call her a brat…why are you still engaged? Both of you have issues that should be worked through before you attempt to foist them off onto another! If you were strong enough to help her you are strong enough to help you. It’s a choice. Rise up and make that right choice. Care enough about you to do what you need to take care of you.

You can do this.

Linda asks…

Why won’t she help me?

My fiancée just won’t care about any of my problems! I’m not okay, as far as happy or healthy goes. I have severe depression, Arrhenphobia, Anthropophobia, Agoraphobia, I’m technically anorexic (500cal or less a day) but still fat(220lbs), plus the binging every few days which makes me really sick, a ‘mild’ case of Asperger’s Syndrome, gender-confusion, self-mutilation issues, self-hatred, self-obsession, suicidal thoughts, dealing with PTSD from a real shitty childhood, I was raped by my only friend a few months ago and he won’t leave me alone, pet obsession, religious backlash, severe separation anxiety, I hate where I live, I hate my apartment, I hate my father and step-family (although I know they mean well, I think), and I’m being pushed into a career that terrifies me.

BUT! I’m not stupid. I know what I need to make me happy and it’s surprisingly simple: I need to become comfortable in my body, that way I won’t have as much of a problem dealing with people. I need to get on medication for my depression, which I inherited from my mother(thanks a lot…). And I need to get a stable, profitable career so that I can have enough money to live comfortably.

On that: Becoming happy with myself is all about health. If you’re healthy, you’re beautiful automatically. I’m not looking for perfection. For right now I just want to be able to feel comfortable with clothing. It will take a bit of surgery and therapy in order for me to be okay with myself nude. That means a healthy diet and moderate exercise, obviously. But that’s hard. I didn’t grow up with anyone to discipline me. I was a poor child, but I got what I wanted most of the time, and what I wanted was to not do chores, not bathe, eat waaaaay too much, and be lazy. And I got all that in abundance.

Getting off track here: SO! Basically, I have all this **** going on. What’s keeping me from just killing myself already? My fiancée. I don’t know what I’d do without her. We met 4 years ago, at the peak of both our problems. She had family issues (a manipulative mother and a shitty living environment), and she was also a total idiot. That may seem mean, but it was her way of dealing with life. Ignorance is bliss, after all. We were good friends for about half a year, then we fell in love. We both gave up everything to be together, overcoming extreme living conditions, horrible stress, and a loss of loved ones. I’ve dedicated my life to her happiness. I’ve helped her mature and learn to think for herself, to be healthy and intelligent and to love herself for who she is. And it’s been a fight. She’s a real brat when it comes to doing anything besides what she wants. I’ve had to deal with tantrums and guilt trips and all that wonderful bullshit. We’ve talked about it, she knows she does it. She just can’t help it when it’s happening and I understand. I have the same problem. BUT, I stood strong and still made her do the things she needed to do, and she’s better because of it.

That’s what I need, and she knows it. I’ve told her on many occasions. I need someone who cares enough to discipline me when I need it. She just doesn’t seem to care though. She gets all teary eyed and determined when I have a breakdown, but the very next day she’s back to being selfish and ignorant of my problems.

She says she understands and that she cares. I don’t know how to be more clear on what I need. I’ve had this same conversation with her so many times, but the next day she seems to forget all about it and goes back to only caring about herself and being lazy. This has been going on for months! You’d think that if she really cared, she’d put aside her own lazy, selfish behavior to help me. I even offered to take care of ALL the household responsibilities so she would only have to make sure I did them. I told her that she didn’t have to bathe as long as she made sure I did. I don’t know how much easier I can make this! Why is it so hard for her to just tell me to do something?! It’s not like I’m hard to control! I’m an obedient person by nature. Hell, the “I’m gonna count to 3″ thing works wonderfully! All I’m asking is for her to basically boss me around! How ******* hard is that?! I’m allowing her to **** around on the computer, eat pizza in bed and have no responsibilities in return for a firm “Go do what you need to do!” That’s all I need!

I love her with all my heart, but WHY WON’T SHE JUST CARE???!!!

admin answers:

Whoa!

Any time we depend upon another person to make us feel better, we risk the chance of being “let down,” disappointed, angry or sad. That is the PERFECT set-up to blame someone else for our problems.

Asking her to boss you around is a control issue. Please!!!!!!!!! Seek individual counseling, if you EVER want things to go your way!!!!!!!!!!! It is very very unhealthy! For your loved one and for you!!!!!!!!

In the meantime, I pray your eyes are opened to the truth.

GOD BLESS.

Sandra asks…

Opinions on story, plz?

  Andy Simms placed his homework on his desk before running downstairs to meet Geoffrey Ziegler and Lucas Green. The moment Andy stepped into the basement, Geoffrey started running off at the mouth. Andy groaned silently as he flopped onto the couch. He had already had a hard day with all of those tests he took. All he needed right now was to sit down and relax.
 ”I saw this chick today at school and she was bangin’!” Geoffrey enthused.
“Did you get her number?” Andy asked listlessly.
“Hell yeah. We’ve been texting all day.”
“What does she look like?” asked Lucas.
“I just told you she was bangin’!” laughed Geoffrey. “But she’s a little blond with a nice booty.”
“Cool.” Andy said, slumping against the armrest.
  His arm muscles throbbed. He felt like dipping them in a bucket of cold water to relieve the pain. Gym had benefits and drawbacks. The benefits were that he got the exercise; the drawbacks were that it wore him out. He was into sports, but not the type of workout his teacher Mrs. Close made him do every gym period. So as of right now, he was going to chill out in his basement.
  “You look wasted.” Geoffrey observed.
“I’m just tired.” groaned Andy, flipping the channels with his remote control.
“I hear ya.” Geoffrey continued. “That bitch Graves gave me a packet to do. I’m not gonna do it until tomorrow morning.”
 ”That’s procrastinating.” Lucas reminded.
“So?” Geoffrey said. “There’s nothing wrong with being lazy.”
“I’m with you.” Andy laughed wanly.
He took a Gatorade bottle and downed himself with it. His eyes weren’t really focusing on anything at the moment. A nap would be nice. That way he could recharge himself and have the energy to talk about hot girls.
   Just then a familiar ringtone sounded from his iPhone. He groaned. He knew who the caller was. He didn’t even bother to look to see who it was. Finally, the call went to voicemail.
“You gonna answer it?” Lucas questioned, reaching over for the phone.
Andy snatched it away from him. “No. Let her answer herself.”
His best friend Savannah had called him. At the moment she was his ex best-friend. Two days ago she had disappointed him by talking all that bullshit about his best friend Nicole Lyon. Savannah and Nicole were supposed to be friends after the feud they seemed to have had, but Savannah obviously didn’t want that. He wasn’t talking to her until she admitted that she insulted Nicole.
  “Check her voicemail.” Lucas said. “Let’s see what she says.”
“Fine.” said Andy, taking the phone and putting it to his ear.
He played his voicemail which said “Alright, you hoes and bitches. Get off my dick. I’ll hit you up later.”
Then there was a click and Savannah’s voice came on. He put it on speakerphone and allowed his friends to hear the message.
“Yeah, Andy…I’m not some ‘hoe’ or ‘bitch’. You said you would talk to me this morning by Carter’s locker. You never showed up. We needed to talk. This is serious. I’m your best friend! We need to at least try to work this out. Please call me back.”
Geoffrey burst into fits of laughter. He leaned over in his seat, looking as if he was about to throw up all over the accent rug. Andy just rolled his eyes. She was acting like an angry girlfriend. He didn’t have time to get in an argument with her. Especially if all she was going to do was talk nonsense.
However, he did feel a little bad. They were best friends after all. They were supposed to be there for each other. But Savannah had irritated Andy. He knew how much she was upset of Carter breaking up with her, but to insult his new girlfriend was completely wrong. She was supposed to move on and be the mature one. It wasn’t like her to call Nicole fat and ugly. That was what got Andy’s attention. He usually didn’t listen to people like Erica Nasso, but when she told him that Savannah made up so many things about Nicole, he had to listen.
 ”Ignore the bitch.” snorted Geoffrey. “She’s not worth five cents.”
Andy involuntarily clenched his fists. Even though he was mad at Savannah, he still didn’t like it for people to talk about her. And Geoffrey had been talking about her ever since he known her.
“By the way, Kimmie hasn’t called me.” Geoffrey said. “She was supposed to call me yesterday.”
Andy snickered. “Oh, her phone’s broken.”
“Why?”
Andy smiled at the memory of talking on the phone to Kimmie Tankersly the other night. She had explained to him how her cellphone was waterproof while she was talking in the shower. He guessed that phone wasn’t as waterproof as she had said.

admin answers:

Geoffrey enthused.
Andy asked listlessly.
Andy laughed wanly.
Geoffrey observed.
Geoffrey continued

A writing teacher of mine told me to stick to ‘said’ and ‘asked.’ Dialogue will flow better and will make more sense.

Good work!

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